Top 10 from
the Semester
Learning
about the relationships within families has taught me a lot about myself and a
lot about my current family. I have picked out ten things that I feel are the
most important things we have covered this semester. They are listed in the
order that we discussed them in class.
Family
boundaries-
I feel this subject was incredibly important because it gives you a way to draw
out your family and see where any problems lie. When you draw a family map with
boundaries you get to see the interactions between different people and it
really puts things into perspective. We were asked to map out our own family
and it really surprised me once I started doing it to see how my family works.
I believe that I will be able to use this tool in my own family because if you
use it correctly, it can help you solve problems.
Gender
importance-
I have learned a lot about this in a few different classes this semester. I
just think it’s important to remember that boys and girls are different for a
reason. We shouldn’t try to change that because our gender is essential in the
Plan of Happiness. We need to have different genders because if we had either
all boys or all girls, things wouldn’t be able to work the way they are
supposed to. The Family Proclamation clearly goes over the roles of both the
mother and the father. Fathers are supposed to provide for their families
unless the situation calls for the mother to work outside the home. I just
think this subject is important because in today’s society, people are trying
to make boys and girls the same. Well fact is, they are different and there
isn’t much we can do about it.
Dating-
Dating
is extremely important because it helps us to find the person we are eventually
going to marry. There are different things that attract us to certain people.
First would probably be their looks. That’s the first thing person notices
about another person. Most people are attracted to people because something
about them looks familiar. That’s because they might look like one of your
siblings or someone that you already know. Also, if you experience something
that is full of emotions while you are with that person, you might think that
you are attracted to that person when in fact you heart was just racing from
the stimulation of the event. That’s important to remember when you are dating.
Don’t misattribute something and think you are falling in love with someone if
in reality you aren’t.
Cohabitation-
This
is something that is becoming more and more common in today’s society. A lot of
people are choosing to live with the person they want to marry before they
actually get married just to test out if the marriage will actually work out.
Truth is that people who cohabit first and then get married later, have a
higher divorce rate. People who date, fall in love, and then get married
without living together first, have a higher chance of making the marriage
last. I just think this section was really important because a lot of people
are trying it these days. I even know a few people that are practicing
cohabitation right now. It’s a big issue.
Marriage
satisfaction- We
talked about how after two people get married, everything is going great. And
then they have their first child and things kind of go downhill from there. The
father sometimes feels left out because the mom is spending all of her time
with the baby. The more children couples have, the more time is being taken
away from the husband and wife to spend together. I think this is a big thing
because there is something we can do to help and even stop it. When husbands
and wives involve each other and go on dates regularly, their relationship will
continue to strengthen and they will be happier. This is an important thing to
remember when you start to have kids and suddenly the relationship that you
have with your husband isn’t what it used to be. You need to notice that and do
something to help change that. This was a very beneficial section for me.
Crises-
This
is definitely an important topic. We talked about the fact that the outcome of
an event depends in part on how you react to it. Crises can either bring a
family closer together or tear a family apart. We need to remember the ABCX
model and if we do, and apply it, our families can stay strong. Some crises are
big and some are small. We can’t let the small things bother us and eventually
ruin a family. I learned that we have a lot of resources that we can use to our
benefit during the time of a crisis. They include but are not limited to: money, family members, knowledge, the gospel, peers, skills,
and friends. If we use what we have, then a crisis may not end up being as bad
as we thought in the beginning.
Communication-
This
to me is the most important one. Communication of some kind is essential in our
everyday lives. I think that bad things happen in families because they don’t
know how to communicate effectively. Husbands and wives need to take time to
just sit down and talk with their spouse. They need to be very open and discuss
things until any issues are resolved. I believe that any marriage can be
successful with the right communication. Communication involves three pieces
that make up the meaning of what the person is saying. There are the words, the
tone of voice, and the nonverbal or body language communication. Each plays a
part in helping the receiver know what is being said. Making sure you have a
good communication, will help create a happy and healthy marriage and family
life.
Active
Parenting of Teenagers-I loved talking about this because I could directly
apply it to my current life. My mom is still trying to raise teenagers and so I
was able to give her some advice about it. I love learning about parenting
because although every idea and suggestion may not work every time, it can
still be helpful in helping you decide what the best solution is to a problem
with your teenager. Active parenting is a program that helps parents to handle
living with their teenagers. It gives them skills and tools that they can use
to enforce rules at home and elsewhere. This is a section that I will be able
to use when I have my own family and I get to the point where I am raising
teenagers.
Divorce-
This
is a really important subject to consider because it is seen more and more in
our society today. More husbands and wives are ending their marriages without
any good reasons. Some do have good reasons and that is fine but I believe that
most couples would be able to work out their differences if they stick together
and have good communication. Divorce should not always be the answer when
something goes wrong within the family. This is something important to remember
when we face problems within our marriage. There is hope and we don’t have to
go out and immediately file for a divorce. We can work things out and make our
family life better.
Parenting
throughout life- This
was the last section that we discussed but I do believe that it is incredibly
important. We need to remember that kids can bring joy and they can also bring
pain. It’s also important to maintain a good relationship with your spouse.
Once your last child leaves home, you will have a lot of time to spend with
them. To make it less of a big transition, you should continue to date your
spouse even after you have children. Also make sure you spend lots of time with
your kids while you can. A lot of parents find that once their children leave
home, they realize that they didn’t spend as much time with them as they wanted
to. We need to be with our children when they are still young and establish
good relationships with them early. When parents start to get older, it is good
for the kids to be able to help them out and do things for them that they can
no longer do.
