Every time something is said, three things are combined to make up the meaning of it. They are the words, the tone, and the nonverbal communication or body language. Only about 14% of the meaning comes from the words alone, 35% comes from the tone and about 51% comes from the nonverbal. Try it! Try saying something happy while scowling and shaking a fist and see which emotion someone believes. It will most likely be your body language. You can try different combinations of them as well. Anyway, this idea about the percentages in meaning is really important when you consider how most people communicate these days. It is usually through texting, Facebook, online blogging such as this, letters, emails, and other types or written or typed communication. What might be the problem with this? Only 14% of the desired meaning is reaching your reader because they can neither hear you nor see you. People can get into all kind of trouble when someone takes something the wrong way when it is being read. Please be careful.
Another thing we talked about is something known as the feedback loop. This looks something like this:
Each person has to decode the message based on what they think it means. That is a really important thing to keep in mind.
When two people have a conflict and they are engaged in an argument, they need to make sure that their words, their tone, and their body language, all match the meaning they are trying to give. You need to be able to talk about it and really understand what the other person is saying. There are several ways to solve a problem but three main ones are: collaboration, compromise, and force. These are categorized as collaboration being celestial, meaning it draws the couple closer to each other and to the Lord; compromise is terrestrial meaning that neither one will be completely satisfied with the arrangement because they had to give up something that they wanted; force is telestial because one person is just forcing their opinion on the other person and making the decision for them. You can probably guess which one is the best option.
As part of the last section for this unit, we talked about councils in the church and how they make decisions. Each meeting of the first presidency with the quorum of the twelve apostles follows a pattern. They come and talk with one another offering love and support. They ask each other about their family, and other things going on in their life. Then they have a prayer to invite the spirit to be with them. They begin and review any subjects that need to be discussed. They debate about it and then they take a vote. If even one person disagrees with what they are talking about, then they will remain undecided and come back to it at a later meeting. Everyone has to be in tune with the Spirit and be able to say exactly what they feel they need to. They have to come to a consensus. After their business is over, they close with a prayer and then they enjoy some kind of refreshments. They begin the meeting with a feeling of love, and they end the meeting with a feeling of love. This is how every council should be, even within our own families.
Family councils can be extremely important to the functioning of the family. For it to be considered a council, there need to be at least two people engaged in the conversation. A family council can even just be between a husband and a wife, a mother and daughter, a father and son, a mother and son, or a father and daughter. You can even have an extended family council if the need arises. These don't need to occur in a formal setting, but you do need to feel like you are able to contribute freely and not feel looked down upon. A spirit of love should be maintained throughout the council even when the people are in a disagreement with one another. Family councils can be a great time to bond with family members and listen to their ideas and their input on issues related to their family. They can be very beneficial and you might end up with a solution to a problem that you had never thought possible until you talked to someone and got other ideas about it.
In the end, I think that communication is one of the most important things in this world. Everyone needs to have some way to communicate. When we engage in a conversation, we need to pay special attention to not only the words, but also the tone, and the body language of the person speaking.
Does the title make sense now? When you only have the words, the meaning may not make sense. I was generous enough to give you 50% instead of just 14. You're welcome.
Also make sure you council with other people about problems instead of trying to handle them on your own. You never know what might happen.
HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg EvErYoNe!! :)
Communication is crucial to a great marriage. I think most men have real difficulties communicating their feelings and it is hard for the wife to draw feelings and thoughts out of her husband. It takes a great deal of patience and understanding to work with your spouse and make them feel comfortable and secure enough to open up and share feelings. But it is truly worth it in the end.
ReplyDelete