So I am writing this one early and it's just because this week is Thanksgiving Break. That doesn't mean that I haven't learned anything. Today we talked about the effects of mothers working. We discussed the positives and negatives of it. I myself am not a supporter of mothers working outside the home. I believe that the main job of a mother is to stay home and take care of her children whenever possible.
I also read an article on if mothers are swapping their minds for a mop if they do decide to stay home. I don't think so because you still need to know things so that you can help your children learn and grow. If a woman does have the desire to further her education, but she still wants to stay at home to raise her children, she can take online classes, do night classes, listen to books on tape, join a book club, or many other things.
I read another article on family work and why it's important to work together as a family on things. It is because when children see mothers and fathers working together, it helps them to feel safe at home and know that their parents love each other. It's also important to include the children in helping with work around the house because it teaches them responsibility and hard work.
The last thing that we read was a pamphlet on managing money and staying out of debt. I really liked it because it lists several specific steps that you can follow in order to get out and stay out of debt. I think that I am going to use it when I have my own family so that we can stay out of debt and not have to worry about that.
Well, that's it for now. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Cmuiain
So the title may not make sense right now, and that's because it's not supposed to.
Every time something is said, three things are combined to make up the meaning of it. They are the words, the tone, and the nonverbal communication or body language. Only about 14% of the meaning comes from the words alone, 35% comes from the tone and about 51% comes from the nonverbal. Try it! Try saying something happy while scowling and shaking a fist and see which emotion someone believes. It will most likely be your body language. You can try different combinations of them as well. Anyway, this idea about the percentages in meaning is really important when you consider how most people communicate these days. It is usually through texting, Facebook, online blogging such as this, letters, emails, and other types or written or typed communication. What might be the problem with this? Only 14% of the desired meaning is reaching your reader because they can neither hear you nor see you. People can get into all kind of trouble when someone takes something the wrong way when it is being read. Please be careful.
Another thing we talked about is something known as the feedback loop. This looks something like this:
Each person has to decode the message based on what they think it means. That is a really important thing to keep in mind.
When two people have a conflict and they are engaged in an argument, they need to make sure that their words, their tone, and their body language, all match the meaning they are trying to give. You need to be able to talk about it and really understand what the other person is saying. There are several ways to solve a problem but three main ones are: collaboration, compromise, and force. These are categorized as collaboration being celestial, meaning it draws the couple closer to each other and to the Lord; compromise is terrestrial meaning that neither one will be completely satisfied with the arrangement because they had to give up something that they wanted; force is telestial because one person is just forcing their opinion on the other person and making the decision for them. You can probably guess which one is the best option.
As part of the last section for this unit, we talked about councils in the church and how they make decisions. Each meeting of the first presidency with the quorum of the twelve apostles follows a pattern. They come and talk with one another offering love and support. They ask each other about their family, and other things going on in their life. Then they have a prayer to invite the spirit to be with them. They begin and review any subjects that need to be discussed. They debate about it and then they take a vote. If even one person disagrees with what they are talking about, then they will remain undecided and come back to it at a later meeting. Everyone has to be in tune with the Spirit and be able to say exactly what they feel they need to. They have to come to a consensus. After their business is over, they close with a prayer and then they enjoy some kind of refreshments. They begin the meeting with a feeling of love, and they end the meeting with a feeling of love. This is how every council should be, even within our own families.
Family councils can be extremely important to the functioning of the family. For it to be considered a council, there need to be at least two people engaged in the conversation. A family council can even just be between a husband and a wife, a mother and daughter, a father and son, a mother and son, or a father and daughter. You can even have an extended family council if the need arises. These don't need to occur in a formal setting, but you do need to feel like you are able to contribute freely and not feel looked down upon. A spirit of love should be maintained throughout the council even when the people are in a disagreement with one another. Family councils can be a great time to bond with family members and listen to their ideas and their input on issues related to their family. They can be very beneficial and you might end up with a solution to a problem that you had never thought possible until you talked to someone and got other ideas about it.
In the end, I think that communication is one of the most important things in this world. Everyone needs to have some way to communicate. When we engage in a conversation, we need to pay special attention to not only the words, but also the tone, and the body language of the person speaking.
Does the title make sense now? When you only have the words, the meaning may not make sense. I was generous enough to give you 50% instead of just 14. You're welcome.
Also make sure you council with other people about problems instead of trying to handle them on your own. You never know what might happen.
HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg EvErYoNe!! :)
Every time something is said, three things are combined to make up the meaning of it. They are the words, the tone, and the nonverbal communication or body language. Only about 14% of the meaning comes from the words alone, 35% comes from the tone and about 51% comes from the nonverbal. Try it! Try saying something happy while scowling and shaking a fist and see which emotion someone believes. It will most likely be your body language. You can try different combinations of them as well. Anyway, this idea about the percentages in meaning is really important when you consider how most people communicate these days. It is usually through texting, Facebook, online blogging such as this, letters, emails, and other types or written or typed communication. What might be the problem with this? Only 14% of the desired meaning is reaching your reader because they can neither hear you nor see you. People can get into all kind of trouble when someone takes something the wrong way when it is being read. Please be careful.
Another thing we talked about is something known as the feedback loop. This looks something like this:
Each person has to decode the message based on what they think it means. That is a really important thing to keep in mind.
When two people have a conflict and they are engaged in an argument, they need to make sure that their words, their tone, and their body language, all match the meaning they are trying to give. You need to be able to talk about it and really understand what the other person is saying. There are several ways to solve a problem but three main ones are: collaboration, compromise, and force. These are categorized as collaboration being celestial, meaning it draws the couple closer to each other and to the Lord; compromise is terrestrial meaning that neither one will be completely satisfied with the arrangement because they had to give up something that they wanted; force is telestial because one person is just forcing their opinion on the other person and making the decision for them. You can probably guess which one is the best option.
As part of the last section for this unit, we talked about councils in the church and how they make decisions. Each meeting of the first presidency with the quorum of the twelve apostles follows a pattern. They come and talk with one another offering love and support. They ask each other about their family, and other things going on in their life. Then they have a prayer to invite the spirit to be with them. They begin and review any subjects that need to be discussed. They debate about it and then they take a vote. If even one person disagrees with what they are talking about, then they will remain undecided and come back to it at a later meeting. Everyone has to be in tune with the Spirit and be able to say exactly what they feel they need to. They have to come to a consensus. After their business is over, they close with a prayer and then they enjoy some kind of refreshments. They begin the meeting with a feeling of love, and they end the meeting with a feeling of love. This is how every council should be, even within our own families.
Family councils can be extremely important to the functioning of the family. For it to be considered a council, there need to be at least two people engaged in the conversation. A family council can even just be between a husband and a wife, a mother and daughter, a father and son, a mother and son, or a father and daughter. You can even have an extended family council if the need arises. These don't need to occur in a formal setting, but you do need to feel like you are able to contribute freely and not feel looked down upon. A spirit of love should be maintained throughout the council even when the people are in a disagreement with one another. Family councils can be a great time to bond with family members and listen to their ideas and their input on issues related to their family. They can be very beneficial and you might end up with a solution to a problem that you had never thought possible until you talked to someone and got other ideas about it.
In the end, I think that communication is one of the most important things in this world. Everyone needs to have some way to communicate. When we engage in a conversation, we need to pay special attention to not only the words, but also the tone, and the body language of the person speaking.
Does the title make sense now? When you only have the words, the meaning may not make sense. I was generous enough to give you 50% instead of just 14. You're welcome.
Also make sure you council with other people about problems instead of trying to handle them on your own. You never know what might happen.
HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg EvErYoNe!! :)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Crises
This past week has been the hardest for me. It's not that what we were learning was hard stuff, it's just that it's hard stuff to think about. We learned about crises that come up in family life and in your marriage. We took experiences from our own life and applied the ABCX model to them. The ABCX model is
Actual Event
+Both Resources and Response
+Cognitions
----------------------------------------------------
=total eXperience
You determine what the outcome of a crisis is going to be. You can take the event and react to it badly and then the whole thing will just turn out bad. Or you can reverse that process and react to it positively and it will turn out for the better.
There are several resources that we have that can help us to cope with stressors. They include but are not limited to:
Money
Family Members
Knowledge
The Gospel
Peers
Skills
Friends
If you combine some of them and use them to your advantage, you are more likely to come out on top of the situation depending on what it is.
In the end, I learned a lot about how to deal with problems that can come up in a family. Attitude is everything.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Weird Week
This week has been an interesting one because we only had
class on Monday. Brother Williams (my teacher) had to go to a conference and so
we just read things online. We learned about sexuality and the importance of
staying faithful to your spouse. We also talked about the need for having
someone that you can rely on and trust. Women especially need to feel safe
before they are comfortable having sex with a man.
One of the articles that we read was on being friends with
members of the opposite gender after you are married. That is not a problem as
long as nothing comes of it. If you start spending time alone with a member of
the opposite gender, chances are that something will happen. If you love your
spouse enough, you won’t even be tempted to do something like that. You have to
set your own boundaries.
That’s really all I have because we couldn’t discuss
anything in class. I’m sorry this is so short. Tune in next time.
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